There was an artilce in this week's Marine Corps Times detailing a widow of a Marine Lt Colonel who was complaining about how it seems as if the USMC simply let her drop off the face of the world when her husband died...and that it took a lawyer to get the money that she was entitled to from the Marine Corps.
I really wish this sort of guide was not necessary, but war is a fact of life, and the current war is in response to a terrible attack on our homeland, and an attack on our very freedom. Our enemies wish to destroy our very way of life, and our military is fighting and dying to prevent this from happening.
Military Widow: A Survival Guide
by Joanne M. Steen and M. Regina Asaro
Mission: To blend the personal experience of military widowhood with the professional knowledge of grief and traumatic loss, and translate over ten years of collective lessons learned from military widows into a survival guide for the new military widow.
This soon-to-be-published survival guide for widows of service personnel, a first-of-its-kind, tackles the unique and complex issues arising from the death of a spouse in the military. It speaks to loss in each of the service branches, across the span of rank and rates, and offers invaluable insights and practical strategies for dealing with this life-altering tragedy. The authors expertly blend personal experience with guidance from leading experts on grief and traumatic loss, and translate over ten years of lessons learned into an effective guide. Short, easy-to-read chapters provide realistic profiles of widows and their responses to loss and the complications generated in the unique world of the military, as well as insight on how to make difficult decisions and cope with everyday situations. Although written primarily for the widow, this book will also prove useful to other family members, friends, and military professionals.
Joanne Steen, MS, NCC, is the widow of a naval aviator who was killed in the line of duty. A Rutgers engineer, Joanne has twenty years of engineering experience in the corporate and military sectors. The sudden and traumatic death of her husband was personally and professionally life changing for her. Six years after her husband’s death, Joanne returned to graduate school and received a master of science degree in counseling, with an emphasis in sudden death and traumatic grief.
Now a nationally certified counselor, Joanne is also a certified strategic planner, crisis responder, instructor, and speaker on military loss. For her work with the Department of the Navy, Joanne was awarded the Meritorious Civilian Service Medal.
M. Regina Asaro, MS, RN, CT completed her nursing education over the course of eleven moves as a military wife. In 2003, she received her certification in Thanatology: Death, Dying, and Bereavement. Regina has worked in-patient psychiatry at the National Institutes of Health and at Gorgas Army Hospital in Panama. She also served as director of crime victim assistance programs for victims of sexual assault and families of murder victims. As a crisis responder, Regina has worked on teams that responded to the bombing in Oklahoma City, the crash of Flight KAL801 on Guam, and in Tuzla, Bosnia, following the massacre of civilians in Srebrenica.
She has presented many workshops on the impact of violent crime, grief, and traumatic loss.
Customer Service , Naval Institute Press * 410-268-6110 / 800-233-8764 / customer@usni.org
MILITARY WIDOW: A Survival Guide:
·Is a first-of-its kind book that tackles the unique and complex issues arising from a military death.
·Is written primarily for the military widow, but also serves as an essential resource for family and friends, and the military personnel who support her.
·Provides practical strategies for surviving this life-changing loss.
·Presents easy-to-access information, combining realistic profiles of military widows, knowledge of military loss and the complications it generates, guidance from leading grief experts, and lessons learned from military widows over the past ten years.
Contents:
Life And Death In The Military
The Ultimate Sacrifice
Who is the military widow?
Military Grief Is Complex
Your life experiences
Your husband’s life and death
The unique culture of the military
When Your Husband Dies Suddenly
Types of death: anticipated vs. sudden
Myths about grief
Common grief responses to losing your husband
Grief work
Am I going crazy?
Thoughts of suicide
Deployment-delayed grief
Disenfranchised grief
The Unplanned Trip Through Living Hell
The military takes care of its own
Dealing with the kids
Dumb things people say
God issues
Inappropriate advances
Identity theft
Difficult Decisions
What not to do with the SGLI
Where to live
What to do with your wedding bands
What to do with the “I love me” wall
Everyday Coping
Coping with significant dates
Widow humor
Staying healthy while grieving
In-laws, ex-wives and stepchildren
Dating again
Growth after loss
In case of emergency
Appendix A: How You Can Help The Military Widow
Appendix B: Resources
Military Widow: A Survival Guide
by Joanne M. Steen and M. Regina Asaro
ISBN: 1-59114-835-9. Paperback. 208 pages. $19.95 Publication date: May 2006
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