Hi Sweety!
First, let me introduce myself a little... My name is Branna and my boyfriend Aaron and I have been together since before he went into boot camp. He is about to leave for the sand on deployment #4 a lot sooner than I'd like... but what can you do, eh?
In response to your question, deployments are really hard for everyone, especially the first one. But every one handles them differently so I'm going to speak just for myself here - Aaron was the first person I knew in the military, so our first deployment was really a conglomoration of firsts...I thought I was going to go certifiably crazy after he left. None of my friends had ever dated any one in the military, so it was very hard to talk about it with them ( enter online forum, lol). And I couldn't believe that I could miss some one so much (especially at night)! I mean to the point of physical pain! It seemed like time had slowed to a crawl just to spite me. I saw things that reminded me of him nearly everywhere I looked (Even realized the street behind my house was called "Marine Way'). And like you mentioned, if I was out with my friends or my family I would feel completely isolated no matter how hard I tried to have fun. It felt like whatever I did came with this thick layer of suckiness because at the end of the day he was still gone....But don't think that because you're having a hard time with the deployment it means that you're not doing a good job or that you're not strong enough. This is one of those things in life that I think you have to just get used to.
As far as the lonely feelings going away... I don't want to say that they will or won't go away because that depends on your personality. Some people I know can carry this kind of stuff around and still get through their day just fine. Other women I know will kinda lock the bad thoughts away... for me, it's been almost five years, and I still miss him as much as when he left the first time and the void left when he's gone is still as big. But being alone got easier with each deployment. You learn how to keep your own spirits up and how to distract yourself when you can't just cheer up. I don't think you will know the answer to that question until you get to the other side of this deployment. Next time, you will have a reference for how you're feeling and a better idea of what to expect. With this deployment, it's kinda like learning to walk. I don't know if you want advice but if so - I would say just take it slow. Don't try to be/feel a certain way when you you're not. It's a fact that deployments are hard and you would be super-human not to be depressed. So, give yourself permission to be sad when you're sad and lonely when you're lonely. And after a good cry, go take a really wonderful bubble bath or catch up on some shows you've been wanting to see (hulu.com!). You will learn a lot about yourself in this time so try to use that...
Keep in mind, though, that as hard as this is on us it sucks royally for them. And you want to be that soft place for him to land when he gets home.
I hope this helps. Keep us posted on what's going on and if you ever need to talk just PM me!
Take Care!
Loving him while he is home; loving him while he is away.
"All days are nights to see till I see thee, And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me."
Son. 43/ W. Shakespeare