Sgt Grit Marine Forums

Hello, my name is Benji Berkeley, and I am happy to be a member of these forums.  I am currently a sophmore in high school.

 A little bit about myself...

Since my brain could first process memory, I have known I have grown up in a very broken family... Not abusive or anything of that sort, but my parents are divorced and since remarried, but the family was never sorted out so well, and my parents never really cared about me or raised me properly save for my father.  Since I only see him and my stepmother half a week (the other half I spend at my mom's/stepdad's), his influence on my life has been half-hearted at best.  The other half of the week I am at my mother's, and she is ineffectual and constantly a prime candidate for alcoholics anonymous.  3/4 of my parents are doctors, the odd-one-out being my stepmom, who is a stereotypical suburban trophy-housewife... she is evil and she doesn't care about me or my twin sister, and she favors her own three daughters (my stepsisters) over us.

 Anyway, I have been tossed between these two houses like a hot potato for as long as I can remember.  I consider myself to be an intelligent person (and so does the state of New York... 94th percentile on standardized tests) but I have grown up with no discipline, no motivation, a weak religious platform, and questionable goals, and no support in anything I do from my parents.

 I am now overweight.  I have few interests, and some of my friends (... not my parents, figure that) are worried that I might be depressed.  I sustain a very minimal 3.3 GPA at my school.  Oh yes, my school.  Scarsdale Public High School.  I read many novels about US Naval History and the Marine Corps, and in one such novel called Making Marines, the author said something along the lines of "South Boston is to the Marine Corps as Scarsdale is to Harvard".  So already, I am looking at the Marine Corps with the disposition that all of you folks must have some disdain for people like myself, like I am not wanted in your Corps. 

 So why am I here?  That is a darn good question.  I think it mostly started out of a dissociation between myself and my community.  I really love this country and what it has provided for me, and what its role is in the world.  In my community and my school... Basically imagine the most liberal/hippie/communist place you could imagine.  Some of my teachers openly say disturbing things, i.e. my Spanish teacher today said: "kill Mr. Bush" .There are many many other rediculous and out of line phrases, practices, and lessons that go on at my school with the praise of the administration.  The kids are exactly the same.  I really cannot take the daily unwarranted and uncountered disparragement of our nation.  It is offensive to me and nobody cares.

 My main interest for the last five years of my life has been US Naval History.  I know more about the Navy than I do about all my teachers "Why America is a failure" lectures put together.  I never really had much interest in the Marines until recently.  This was mostly spurred by two things:

1) Naval Combat will not return to what it was like in WW2, WW1, or even Nelson's time in my lifetime.  Marines will always be fighting.  I don't want to be cruising around the world chasing "pirates" on RIB's while Marines are fighting.

2) On one balmy February day I was walking up the stairs to the library from the cafeteria at my school, and around the bend comes a USMC Staff Sergeant in full dress blues.  I was stunned for a moment... Really.  I stopped walking.  I merely said "Good afternoon Staff Sergeant" as he came down the stairs, and suddenly he lit up as well.  I think I must have hit a chord in him by recognizing his rank and adressing him as such, because we had a most jovial conversation.  I don't really know why he was at our school though... There are no recruits to be found here.  Everyone goes to college to become a lawyer or doctor or whatever.  To not go to college is unthinkable here.

 So... Then I asked around my community about what people thought of military service.  The responses surprised me, but they really shouldn't have.  When I asked them of a military career, of all things they could say, the first thing that comes out is "You get paid ***...".  Not "You might get hurt" or "It is hard to maintain a family" or anything else.  Without inquiring further, I got the idea of where these people's values lied, and I didn't need their opinion.

 About a military career?

 I am not sure if I want to enlist after high school or go through college (probably NROTC) and become an officer.  I am leaning towards enlisting flat out just because I would feel ashamed to be an officer.  My performance in life does not denote officer material.  I am not a good student, and for the qualities that make me a poor student, I would probably be a poor officer.  Somewhere inside me though, I believe I have the qualities that good make me a fine one. Or if not an officer, a leader. 

The reasons for enlisting seem to outweight those of being an officer.  Personally, it would mean not having to put up with another four years of the re-educational communist hell that I have been experiencing.  It would be an immediate release into a community I could love.  Also, I have lived a very spoiled lifestyle with little to say for myself.  The life of the soldier seems perfect for me.  I want someone to light a fire under my ass, to make me proud of something, to make me work for a living.  And maybe, if I become a good enough enlisted soldier, I may be able to get to an OCS-esque program, no?  I am not sure of the specifics on that. 

I am also not sure what I would want to do in the Marines.  The prime reason for wanting to be an officer is so that I could possibly become a pilot, since Aviation History is second up to Naval History in my list of interests and hobbies.  I am obsessed with the fleet of Marine Air.  Failing that, I wouldn't really care what I did.

 As an enlisted soldier, however, I am not sure.  There seems to be a lot more options.  I wouldn't mind being infantry, nor avionics, nor artillery, or anything really. Just not transport or working with computers or anything.  I want a fighting job, or close to it.

 I think I'll end this life-story-ish rant here and let you folks read it.  Sorry for the length... I've had a lot bottled in me.

 Take care,

Benji Berkeley

Good first post.

I would recommend attending a few of the poolie functions through the Recruiting Station.  You will be able to meet some like minded individuals.

Your a Sophmore, with a good number of years before you can sign the dotted line.  Start working out now, you don't need to over do it and kill yourself.  I'm willing to bet the Recruiter would be more than happy to help set up a work out routine for you.

And keep reading, knowledge is good at any level.

 

Yeti

Thank you, sir

 If I may ask, what exactly is a poolie?  Do they clean statues and/or feed dolphins?

Go ask your recruiter kid.

Poolie is a term used to reference the applicants in the 'pool' for a recruiter.  Hence the name Poolie.  Kinda like Groupie.

Roger all Yeti's last.  One bit of advice for you though is this - do not pre-limit yourself.  Why do yo think of yourself as unfit to be an officer?  Always, if you are lucky enough  to be chosen to try, reach for the most you can get.  As humans our reach is to exceeed our grasp.  Always go for the high branch.  You may not make it but if you quit before trying you are not Corps material.  One other thing, in the Corps it is what YOU are not your family.  Good luck and get to working out.

I think you have misunderstood me.  I don't think I am ultimately incapable of becoming an officer.  I just think that (personally) I would be better served as an enlisted soldier before I tried to become an officer.  Sorry if I made that unclear.  Secondly, I understand that my decisions regarding the USMC are ultimately up to me and for only me, but that doesn't mean I should disregard my family's trepedations and concerns for me if I can present my case in a more favorable light.

 

Thanks for the replies. 

That's MARINE, not soldier.  Unless you want to join the army.

I know how you feel about the family thing... in the end it's up to you, but you WANT them on board.  You don't have to "present a case."  Just tell them how it is:  I want to be a Marine, and here's why...  Like my parents, they will likely say things like, "What about college?  You're so smart, you should be like everyone else and go to school!"  or "We are at war!  What if you die or get hurt??"  Respond honestly... you'd rather serve the nation by becoming a Marine instead of serving yourself by going to college.  You are ready to give your life in defense of freedom.  If they don't like it, fine.  Too bad for them. 

 Interesting how you phrased that, JJA.  I always say to myself that "I am serving myself and my country" if I became a part of the armed services, but I never really thought about how college would "serve myself".  That sounds quite absurd, but I always kind of viewed college as this abstract experience sometime in my furture that didn't really settle anything but to suit my parents'/community's expectations of me attending college.  In that light, I don't want to risk throwing away chances that I will have and never have again.  Not many people in this country are fortunate enough to grow up with the type of education and the environment I live in.  (As you can see, I'm talking to myself sort of...)

However, the exact same things can be said about the Marine Corps.  And what is great about enlisting is that I will have a chance to go to college anyway when it is all over, or if I like it enough, have the possibility to go into OCS sometime down the road.  It is just an invaluable life experience that I don't think I can pass up.  It is the type of thing I would never forgive myself for not doing.  The Corps will mold me into a better person, I'm eager for change.  I want to be pushed around, roughed up, and expected to get things done correctly, professionally, and efficiently. 

 So I guess that settles it.  I need to find a recruiter.

 P.S. Thanks for the food for thought, guys.  Just reading around these forums has brought a wealth of information to me.  Thank again.

One thing that I can advise you on with complete confidence is that you will have to work your tail off to get into the sort of condition where you would be able to compete for a slot in OCS or even to survive boot camp. How do I know this to be true? Scarsdale High School. I had to work through that also since I graduated from Bronxville and had to kill myself just to get into condition to play Division 3 football in college. Kids from wealthy communities are generally spoiled and soft. You will also get tortured with rich boy in boot camp if the Drill Instructors ever figure this out. After college I went enlisted, you will have to make that same decision. I would advise to enlist before college if the enlisted ranks are your choice. Boot Camp will be easier when you are younger. I turned 29 in Boot Camp. Good luck and do much thinking.

How very true.  I am so spoiled... I want that to change.  It is going to take a ton of hard work.  The Marine Corps will help me recreate myself into a better person.

Hi Benji,

I had a childhood somewhat like yours - constant criticism, disparagement; no support from two people who weren't happy with each other.

Relatives used to commernt about how I was either always in my room, reading, with the door shut, or  out in the pasture for hours, with or without my .22...  ...anything, just to get away from "home."  I left home at age 17, and never went back, except for brief, civil visits.  I was criticized for enlisting both times (1961 & 1967), told by my father that people in the military were there because they couldn't do much of anything else.  I didn't believe him, but it hurt.  Only after his death recently did I understand that his sorry attitude came from shame and jealousy - he was drafted into the Navy in December 1944, after hiding under his desk for most of the war.  He had even lied to me in my younger days about "joining" the Navy in 1942, when actually he was an unsuccessful draft-dodger, in the last seven months of WWII.  My being an Army paratrooper, then finishing college, and then later enlisting in the Marine Corps, ending up as an infantry platoon and company commander in Viet Nam, was too much for him to swallow.  

The purpose of the above is to communicate to you that your case is not really all that unusual, or at all detrimental to future success.  I wouldn't have written this had I not looked at your Bio. 

Look up "If," plus Rudyard Kipling,  on Google.  According to the poem, you have already had a great deal of "life experience," your self-effacing assessment to the contrary notwithstanding.  You are, as a result, able to stand alone even now (which shows in some of your writing).  You wonder if your perspective is somehow wrong as you witness the gregarious ( as in herd mentality ) aspects of your classmates. 

Marines aren't herd animals. I don't think you are, either.

Good luck.

 

 

I'm not big on poetry, but that poem reflected a lot about myself.  The frivolous nature of my situation.  I was actually kind of frightened when I read:

"f you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;"

Besides working out, which hasn't been doing too much lately, I have been doing absolutely nothing (in terms of the Corps-related-goals) besides dreaming and thinking!  Like "man, what world my dad would be in if he found out that I enlisted one day" or meeting up with my friends after senior year at some ivy league college, but me with Marine-issue clothing.  Or thinking how much PT must suck (from my current point of view) in the Corps.  I can't get the Marines off my mind! 

 EDIT:  I guess I am just worried that I am getting off track... My everyday life is so busy with school!  School controls my life... I wish I could just quit it and live at the recruiting station and work my ass off on something that actually matters.