Sgt Grit Marine Forums

Passing along something I came across on a site. When they first are informed about a deployment, many people begin anticipating the extended absence of a loved one, which may cause feelings of confusion, anger, resentment, or depression. If you experience any of these emotions you can: Talk to your loved one about your feelings Work to create opportunities for lasting memories during the seperation. Involve the entire family for the deployment. When the time of departure draws near, some people may begin to feel detached or withdrawn. Feelings of hopelessness, impatience, and decreased emotional or physical intimacy are common reactions to an impending deployment. When a loved one leaves, family members may go through a difficult adjustment period. An increased sense of independence and freedom may be countered by periods of sadness and loneliness. If you have trouble adjusting to the absence of a spouse or loved one you can: 1)Cultivate new skills or hobbies . Take a class or start a project you've always wanted to do. It's important to continue personal growth when a loved one has been deployed. Open yourself to new experiences and friendships. 2)Keep a journal . Many people find that writing down their thoughts and feelings is comforting when they are separated from a loved one. 3)Offer empathy and support to others. Remember that you aren't alone. Find a support group or plan events with other families who are experiencing the same thing. (If you are reading this..you are on a wonderful support group now!!) 4)Seek support from your faith community. Many people find comfort and solace from their faith communities during difficult times. 5)Do something special for yourself and your family. Rent a movie or cook a meal that your loved one wouldn't necessarily enjoy. Plan fun outings with children during free time. 6)Seek professional counseling . If you feel like you can't cope with the absence of a loved one, contact your health care provider or employee assistance program (EAP) to find a counselor. 7)Ignore rumors . Many people have trouble dealing with limited information about the whereabouts and activities of a loved one during deployment. It may be difficult to ignore rumors or gossip, but it's important to rely on official sources of information when a family member has been deployed.

Thx so much for that great information. I find myself suffering from all of those above. Half way through though....

I find myself in the same situations. I printed all of this information out, not that I don't really know it..but it's a nice little reminder and something nice to look at to know that what I feel is normal!:)

Thanks for the information, I appreciate it! My b/f is in ROTC and will be joining the military in just a couple of short years so I'm treasuring every moment now b/c I don't know how often he'll be away! I do know however that it will be very hard on me, but I am so proud of him! We're getting married in a few years and I know his occupation will also be hard on our future children, especially with living on base and having to move alot!

hey mary thanks for taking the time to sort things out for us oorah!!! that was wonderful of you god be with you and yours TEARS ARE A WAY OF MELTING A HEART, THAT'S BEEN FROZEN IN GRIEF crazy 8"s mom laura

We swap journals. He keeps one while he is deployed, and I keep one at home. Then we he gets back, we "swap" and read each other's journals. When we have our post-deployment "dates" it gives us something to talk about and really understand what the other partner went through...ups and downs. I keep a scrapbook with the kids; it's just a folder with tabs that you buy in the school supply section, filled with blank paper...everyone writes something in it for that day..the littlest one only writes a few lines, or she draws pictures, we take pictures of our outings and make color photocopies and glue in with commentary; I mail the scrap book to him about 1X mth. For the little one, we do a "deployment chain" for each day, then she tears off one link for each day Dad is gone. With every care package I mail I include some blank pre-addressed envelopes for his mom and sister; and a few unaddressed ones as well. Before he left, he bought some bright orange envelopes in Staples; that way when the kids see a flame orange envelope in the mailbox they know right away it's from Dad, and they get all excited. This Fall we will be sending over blank Christmas cards with envelopes for them to fill out and send back, as they are not close to any PX to buy any. We did this for the 04 push to Fallujah when there wasn't anything built up in Fallujah yet, and it was a big hit. I was forwarded lots of donations, many from fellow Gritsters. We opened up all the boxed sets and put them into one giant box, they had great fun diving into the box and "shopping" for just the right Christmas card to send. It was great, because those on my deployment support list for the Division mailed their donation blank cards directly to him, and the card he chose for me was a complete surprise to me as well.

Wow, thanks for posting this. My boyfriend of 2 years is about to go to Iraq for his first deployment in early 2007.  I'm trying to do all I can to "prepare" for this first deployment, but I've come to realize that I don't think there really is a way to be fully ready.  I am already a member on marineparents.com, but a lot of my friends use this site as well, so I'm trying it out.  Anyway, thanks for posting this .. I've read most of what you stated before from other sources, but reading it again helps.  The thing about keeping a journal is a good idea--I've never thought of that, but I'll probably do that.  Wish me luck...I'll need it!

Thanks for posting this. My husband left in Aug. He didn't understand why I was acting the way that I was. He left a week before "planned" and we had to do everything in 2 days then we planned on doing in 7 days. And his dad was there and he and I dont get along. It was hell and my husband would tell me that I was making his last days at home hard for him. and that he didn't want to leave with us fighting that he wanted to remember the good not the bad. And I understand all of that but it hurt that my husband didn't understand how I was feeling. So I sent this to him. Thank you

I had a strange experience.  While my husband was deployed to Iraq, I had a job to train school personnel regarding deployments (School Liaison).  I was always talking about stress as "them and they".  It was never "me or I". 

Then came a day that I attended a training session on stress and deployment.  And it hit me - "they were talking about me!".  Yep, broke down.  But wow, it felt powerful and I felt so much better.  It was also humbling.  You really learn a lot from being seperated from your love one.  I learned a loved him a lot!  Cheers!  H~